Author: sonsot

I once accepted that I was a speck of dust in universe that pre-existed my arrival, and would exist long after I was gone. I imagined a past that extended backward, and a future that extended infinitely forward. I imagined that I was one of billions of individuals inhabiting this rock orbiting a star, within… Continue reading I am my own god, my own satan, my own jesus

I have always desired something so completely it drove my every movement. I sensed it was just beneath the surface of my familiar life; that I could reach out and touch it if I could see it. Though it was hidden from view, I somehow knew it was inevitable. In my earliest years ‘it’ was… Continue reading My pain

I was 16 when I had a revelation: I will know everything about everything. I rushed home to write that down and imagine what it meant.  In my adolescent mind, “knowing everything about everything” offered a fascinating prospect. But there was a problem: I was just one unremarkable person out of billions. How could I possibly… Continue reading I know everything

I come here because I have forgotten who I am. That forgetfulness manifests as this cycle of awakenings. God is my first desire as I wake, and my last desire before I sleep. All other desires formed by my familiar self are borne of ignorance of my true desire. There are two movements at play… Continue reading My Life

One of the primary symptoms of depression according to the medical authorities is the “loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed”. Of course, this line of reasoning is based on the idea that a loss of interest is a medical condition requiring psychiatric and even chemical treatment. But I need not turn to… Continue reading Depression

Disengagement is the process of letting go of what brings me pain so I can rediscover and then pursue what brings me peace. It is the first step of descent. Upon awakening, I manifest two environments: an inner conceptual world of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, and an outer perceptual world of things, objects, and people.… Continue reading Disengagement

To the descentist, life is a problem in need of a solution. The problem is that I find myself here, experiencing all manners of pain and suffering. The solution is meaningful change through existential transformation. For me it was prompted by a growing sense of dissatisfaction with life. Not for a shortage of ideas; the… Continue reading Instruction

When I enter a room full of people, all of my behaviors are derived from where and who I am. It follows that where I am informs how I feel. How I feel will inform what I value and want. What if I entered a room full of people without knowing where I am? I… Continue reading What I know