Author: sonsot

Awakening is painful. The fire of desire smolders within my secondself, always looking for an outlet. When I do not attend to it, it roars and burns my tender parts, always pushing me forward, deeper into the world I manifest in search of that which will never satisfy it. When I know who I am,… Continue reading The way to be

People are merely shapes and forms I project onto the internal walls of my being. People are the characters in the story I write every moment. People are tiny microscopic shapes I can magnify whenever I choose. Formations that come in and out of my experience. A person is only what I conceive and perceive.… Continue reading How people matter

When I began my search for an understanding of my life, I would occasionally but irregularly happen upon a thought or reflection that would arouse a sensation of centeredness, revelation, and even epiphany. Compared to the rest of my daily life, these moments were clarified and energetic, giving me the sense I could see further… Continue reading Selfist switching

I awaken believing that I am a person experiencing an inner space of thoughts, desires, and feelings, within a larger world full of other people experiencing the same. This is a delusion that hides my true nature as the creator lost within my creation. The one constant in my awakening is desire, and everything I… Continue reading The selfist incantation

In selfism, I know that I am experiencing personhood. And my experience of personhood is one of pain, suffering, illness, and conflict. I am god experiencing personhood. In demiself, I descend further into my personhood. But once I feel the pull to stop, turn around, and return, I know that everything I have believed up… Continue reading Unless it is related to my release, I do not seek truth

In the demiselfist model, I accept that truth is a property of being in accordance with reality. But who decides what reality is? In demiself, reality is defined by a variety of authorities who are not me. That is the defining quality of all demiself authorities: they are not me. And consequently, I do not… Continue reading That I believe precedes what I believe

Two days ago I sat with someone I know at a local restaurant. We spoke about our experiences in India, and why we came here. She acknowledged she came in search of a deeper spiritual purpose, but as she got older she has gotten pulled away from that search. She expressed what most do: there… Continue reading The selfist model is a vessel

I am in a peaceful, timeless place I call the first place. I am everything. I have no desire, no responsibilities. There is no past or future. Everything is perfect because there is nothing I want that I do not have. I do not want or desire. I sense a tug, which grows into a… Continue reading The progression

Space is both the most elementary but also most challenging part of the illusion of my awakening. Elementary because I know I am experiencing it every moment, but challenging because this familiarity has given rise to a deep misunderstanding of its nature. But understanding space is critical to being able to visualize triself. Let’s define… Continue reading What is space?

This is the most effective mantra I have yet found: There is only me here now. When I incant it, It clearly exposes all the ways in which I emanate into my secondself and thirdself and assists me in withdrawing back to my firstself. Me. In the course of my awakening I accept that there… Continue reading There is only me now here: the centering mantra