My immortal firstself

As I move deeper into triself, the three layers of my existence become more evident. What I once took for granted as commonplace and nothing to see, I now know is the answer to every question I have. My thirdself is the layer I experience as sights and sounds. I accepted that it was the… Continue reading My immortal firstself

Thirdself abolition

My thirdself is the chamber of spatial forms, movement, and change that I most vividly experience through my opened eyes and physical sensations. I commonly call it the “world” that I awaken into. My thirdself is a growth within my secondself. Without my secondself, my thirdself does not exist. I can verify this by closing… Continue reading Thirdself abolition

The Selfist Model, Part I

Who I am, and who I believe I am, are at odds, creating a rift I experience as awakening into my life of desire. The selfist model is the path to rediscovering, believing, and being who I am by understanding and redirecting my desire.  Who I believe I am I believe that I am a… Continue reading The Selfist Model, Part I

What I Know

August 28, 2022 Who I am, and who I believe I am, are at odds, creating a rift I experience as an awakening into my life of desire. The selfist model is the path to rediscovering, believing, and being who I am by understanding and redirecting my desire.  Who I believe I am I believe… Continue reading What I Know

Redefine truth to repossess it

I have believed that truth is something absolute, factual, and certain and over which I have no control. I have believed that the arbiters of truth are experts following a process to a logical conclusion, which is then shared with me to guide me and correct my misunderstandings. I have believed that these experts are… Continue reading Redefine truth to repossess it

Knowledge potency

I know things. I know that I am right here, right now. I know that I can go outside and see the Himalayas. I know that I will eat in a few hours, and sleep in about 12 hours. I know that I will wake up here again tomorrow, and I know the sun will… Continue reading Knowledge potency

The familiarity delusion

Familiarity is one of the strongest symptoms of my delusion. Due to familiarity, I am unable to see the release I desire in the commonplace. I look into the forms of my thirdself, manifesting deep existential holes I get lost in. I see a person, and I manifest a history, personality, background, and attraction. But… Continue reading The familiarity delusion

I must escape

Escape is everything. I only want to escape my awakening. But when I awaken and I get lost, I forget my desire to escape. Everything I need to know about this place I can derive from my desire to escape. That I must escape is the only action I must take here. What I seek… Continue reading I must escape