Author: sonsot

I am at peace. I have no desire. There is only me, right here, right now. There is no other place, and there is no other time. My peace is shattered and I open a door. As I enter the door I leave the place where I am infinite and at peace, and squeeze my… Continue reading The room

One of the most confusing and disorienting aspects of demiself is the fragmentation of my desire. Upon awakening and manifesting my secondself and thirdself, I immediately commence my unending quest for relief. It takes many forms, starting with the simple physical desire to wake up and move out of my bed. Then I desire to… Continue reading The fragmentation of desire

Religion has been a recurring theme in my life. I have always wanted to know the truth, and have gone through long periods of embracing, and then rejecting the various stories packaged as religion. The Old Testament Book of Genesis, in particular, has always fascinated me. As one of the deepest stories within my secondself,… Continue reading Selfism in Genesis

The nature of reality is whatever I decide it is. But the more fundamental question is: what is my condition, and what would I like it to be? My condition is one of painful awakenings, and my desire is to end my pain. Any question I ask must be predicated upon my fundamental condition or… Continue reading The nature of reality

In my awakening into demiself I occupy and perform many roles; behaviors emerge from beliefs, values, and patterns of thinking. For example, I am a renter in a cottage right now, and to remain as such there are certain rituals I must perform like paying, and interacting with the owner. I am also a visitor… Continue reading The anonymous spectator role

Conviction is the only thing that constrains me to demiself, separating me from omniself. Conviction work is the time and effort I spend contemplating, incanting, meditating, manifesting, and praying to strengthen my self-awareness. Conviction work orients me away from demiself and toward omniself by weakening the bonds of my awakening. When I awaken, I depart firstself… Continue reading Conviction work

I was imagining a moment forward when my omniselfist conviction is stronger than it is now, when I have abandoned all but the most foundational of my demiselfist propensities such as breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, exercise, and the pursuit of basic physical comfort. That is to say when I have abandoned such advanced demiselfist desires… Continue reading Character etiquette as I restore omniself

In this incantation, I finally pull together the two fundamental diagrams of the selfist framework by which I can fully explain my existence. This has been a long road, and I am sure much remains to simplify even further. The selfist spectrum lays out my entire illness from demiselfist to omniselfist. In demiself, I believe… Continue reading The selfist spectrum and the triself model

The people are the characters that flitter about me in my awakening, always busy. They make and drive the machines, produce and consume products, mind their families and build relationships. They form tight-knit identity groups and fight with other groups. They are trapped in a perpetual cycle of conflict and resolution, desire and achievement. The… Continue reading My characters

Prior to this incantation, I had been using the word “triself” as a mid-way between the demiselfist and omniselfist perspectives. The idea was that I would proceed from demiself to omniself through triself; triself was the middle perspective. But with this incantation, I remove “triself” from this spectrum, leaving only a binary spectrum with demiself… Continue reading Demiselfist and triselfist perspectives