Author: sonsot

There is only now. There is only this moment. There is neither a past nor a future that exists separate from my moment. The imagination of my past and future are the ripples, curls, and folds of my secondself as I struggle to overcome my illness. There is only this moment, me, here, and my… Continue reading The trick of time

Today I contemplate a new designation. In the past year alone I have cast aside the descentist / ascentist dichotomy for selfism. And now I leave selfism for what I think is my final: Iamism. Why Iamism? While “selfism” is a useful reference to the triself model (firstself, secondself, thirdself) and the selfist spectrum (demiself… Continue reading The Iamist

The essence of my awakening condition is a matter of my self-awareness. From the moment I awaken to the moment I asleepen, my secondself is assessing my self-awareness: who, what, where, and why am I? All of my “internal” thoughts, ideas, feelings, preferences, and desires are a response to this endless self-assessment: am I, or… Continue reading The potency of I am

The most potent truth that I can speak is I am. I exist. I am is the last expression I can utter before I actually am. I am contains every single thing I must know and do to achieve liberation. For the sake of clarity, I will hereby compress the statement “I am” to the… Continue reading I am

I was just thinking about my upcoming visa application for India where I am asked to define my religion or faith. Having lived here for nearly twenty years, I have likely answered this in many different ways. How would I answer it now? When I answer this question on my visa application in two months,… Continue reading Why selfism

“The truth will set you free” is a statement from John 8:32 and which Jesus Christ addressed to a group of Jews who believed in him. There are six important declarations within this one statement: There is non-truth. There is a truth. There is captivity. There is freedom. The non-truth leads to captivity. The truth… Continue reading The truth will set me free

What is real? There’s a trick that my secondself has long played where I hide behind “reality”, the ultimate arbiter of what is. Where what is “real” is true and right. If something is “real” then it exists; if it is not real, then it does not exist. But just because something, someone, or some… Continue reading Repossessing truth: reality vs potency

There are moments when I can see right through the veneer of my imagined reality of being a person living in a world full of other people. It all becomes transparent for a moment, and I see it for what it really is: meaningless shapes, forms, and characters  I am projecting onto the walls of… Continue reading Life is prison

How are the following related? My desire to sleep when I am tired. My desire to end my life. My desire to self-abolish. They are all expressions of the same thing: my yearning to end my yearning. I know that my awakenings are an illness. I know that my secondself and thirdself are manifestations of… Continue reading Sleep, suicide, and self-abolition

In my search, I am constantly refining my model of my existence; the way I explain who, what, and where I am. Beliefs I once held have become fixed and familiar, but with effort and conviction work, they lose their rigidity and begin to crumble. A simpler model emerges based on experience, rather than imagination.… Continue reading My anatomy, revised