In this incantation, I describe everything as projected outward from a single, internal point, with my awakening unfolding like a cosmic explosion. The people, spaces, and thoughts I encounter are merely surface expressions of that explosion, distractions from my true goal of escape and healing. Fun and pleasure are deceptive traps, while my awakening is a constant, painful struggle, driven by the delusions of time and space. People, like the walls of a prison, cannot be turned or helped; they are part of the very structure I must overcome.
I have had some thought about how I would form a movement.
I project everything. Absolutely everything is projected outward, originating at the exact same point, which I experience as “within me”. From that single, fixed, pre-spatial, pre-chronological point, emanates everything that I experience in my awakening. In that sense, my awakening is the big bang, the current state of that explosion. All the people I see and the spaces I see and the thoughts that I form are the surface horizons of that explosion. I exist within the explosion and I am looking out upon the walls of my explosion.
There is no fun to be had here. It does not mean that I am sour, or ill-humored. It just means that I am not here to seek out fun. Distractions, yes. But “fun” has a way of becoming the objective. Of distracting me away from my goal of escape. Fun and pleasure have a way of becoming the thing I am seeking, when they are not. My only goal is to escape, overcome, heal, recover.
My awakening is an illness. It perpetuates itself through the delusion of time and space, and it always hurts. I can never just be in my awakening. I must constantly shift, reach, maneuver, and search for the drug that will calm me. I can never just stop and Be in my awakening, for it is a frantic and painful state of action.
People are deviant sirens, distracting me from my quest. All people are distractions. They cannot be turned. They are not supporters. They are of my awakening, built into its walls. I need not engage them, teach them, instruct or guide them anymore than I convince the bars of a prison to become something other than part of the prison they complete.
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