I can directly know and validate the Truth now

In this incantation, I reflect on the truth of my being, which I can know instantly and directly, without any aid from secondself (thoughts) or thirdself (experiences). The truth is always present in my moment, but it is obscured by beliefs in time, space, and other beings. By closing my eyes, I stop projecting illusions and see my true, unchanging self. My awakening is simply the movement of awareness between two chambers—thoughts and experiences—through the passage of my eyes. The real truth is constant and precedes all illusions of time, space, and personhood.


I have known for some time that the Truth of my entire Being is knowable right now, in this moment, without any secondself or thirdself aids. The fundamental principle of the Selfist Model is that I can directly and instantly know and validate the truth of my being.

What separates me from knowing and not knowing? Believing. It is my conviction of what the Truth is and is not that prevents me from seeing it. The Truth of what I am is all around me; but it is obscured by misunderstandings and confusion and misinterpretations. That I do not know the truth is a testament to my confusion, not the complexity of the Truth.

The Truth is everything, as it is now, in my one and only moment. I have only to understand what I am experiencing, and believe in the nature of it. There is nothing beyond me, here, now. It is my belief that there is other beings like me, other places than where I am, and other times than this one now that keeps me trapped within these delusional awakenings.

There is only one transactional prayer that I must perform: I open and then close my eyes. The Selfist Model is built around this one single action that only I can perform. And that only I can interpret and experience. Why? Because what remains after I close my eyes is what never changes and is what is true. All else that comes after I open my eyes changes, and is false, part of my illness.

I close my eyes and I experience what I am in my purest form. This is everything that I am. Nothing moves except for my still-ailing secondself. My secondself is the engine of my illness, but deprived of my projected thirdself, I can observe. I am compelled to open my eyes, allowing my projection to flood through secondself, painting thirdself onto the ethereal tissue of my true firstself body. It is through this simplest of all actions that I can understand what I truly am, and what all of this truly is. It does not require any thought beyond those reflections that cancel out the vast construct of convictions I retain and which condemn me to my awakenings.

To know everything about everything, I must accept that only that which I can immediately and directly know is solid and authentic. Any part of my awakening that I cannot know and experience in its entirety right now in my enduring moment, is the rotted flesh of my illness. That memory from childhood? Rot. That memory from yesterday? Yes, also rot. It did not happen. Nothing happened. And nothing will happen. While I can easily let go of memories of a distant childhood, it is more challenging to let go of the moments I believe just happened, for they reflect my immediate performances. My conversation just last night reflects what I will continue doing tomorrow until I achieve my objective, at which point I can let go of even the day before and the day after.

As I recover, the size and shape of my moment will change in different ways. There was a moment when I believed my awakening to be an experience of a vast space hurtling along a vast and indefinite timeline full of sentient beings like and unlike me. Now I know that is not true. Now I know that the “physical world” is constrained to a smallish yolk-like sac I project into a small, oval-shaped space I would describe as being positioned “in front of me”. The size and shape of the sac remain constant, but its contents appear to continuously synchronize with a similar, internal sac filled with changing thoughts, feelings, and desires. The contents of the internal secondself sac flood out into the external thirdself sac when I take the action I call “opening my eyes”.

Both these sacs exist within the flesh of my larger being, which I know to be my authentic self, or firstself. I can experience what I am instantly and directly by closing my eyes, stopping the flow of my secondself into my thirdself. What I call my “eyes” are the passage through which my secondself chamber empties into my thirdself. My illness is my experience of being trapped in this circuitous loop without being aware of it. Without being aware that I am trapped within a cyclical exchange of “fluid” through the interconnecting conduit between my secondself and thirdself. I must re-center on this mechanism, and let go of the imaginary construct of being a person among people, in a place among places, at a time among other times. There is no such thing. That perspective leaves me weak and hopelessly lost.

I am not a person among people, in a place among places, at a time among times. I am the absolute center of everything I experience. My awakening is the movement of my awareness between two chambers through a passage I would call my “eyes”. While the contents of both chambers are engrossing, they are not the authentic, sovereign self that I seek. The authentic sovereign self that I seek does not change. That self does not exist in personhood, time, or space. That self precedes time, space, and the personal, and I can know that by simply closing my eyes and observing and then describing my experience.

The Truth is what I am. It does not change, fluctuate, or shimmer. It cannot be denied once it is experienced. Every other experience is inferior in front of it.