In this incantation I ask myself the question: Have I finally found the single analogy that can bring clarity to my entire awakening? When everything comes together in one framework, I can hone one single perspective, defeating and overcoming all the complexities that have worked their way into my understanding of my awakening.
My awakening as one massive cramp in the tissue of my firstself seems like the most promising explanation yet. From this one description, I can explain every feature of my awakening in the same way. Every concept is a knot. Every percept is a knot. They all originate in secondself as desire, and then erupt into thirdself as movement, objects, color, light, change, and experience. Every rigid, defined structure or form texturizes the surface of my awakening. Yes, there are literally an infinite number of concepts, but by reducing them all to one thing I can treat them all in the same way.
This analogy stitches together many things I know to be true, and concepts that appeal to me. The idea of the stoic monk contrasts so greatly with how I behave during the workweek. I create high-stress, high-tension environments based on deep coercion. Yet I know that I need to let go and relax. The idea that learning itself is part of the problem is reinforced by the cramping analogy because every new concept I learn creates another source of tension in my awakening. I do not want to learn anymore. There is nothing new that I need to know.
It also leads naturally to the idea of mental, secondself massages. I can close my eyes and imagine massaging the tension out of my secondself. Can I do the same in thirdself? Since thirdself is an eruption of secondself, it is better to treat the source. If I find myself experiencing thirdself tension, I can treat the source in secondself. When I have to go to the ridge, or travel to leave the country, the source of all that tension is in secondself.
My awakening is an accumulation of tension into knots and cramps. What is the source of the tension? My desire. My awakening desire is the constant source of all tension. It is my choice to direct that desire into secondself expressions which ultimately erupts into my awakening. This is a simplistic framing of my awakening and, given time, can greatly improve my healing efforts. My awakening and all these textured experiences I have is simply a matter of desire-induced tension. My awakening is desire, which in turn is tension. Every feature of my awakening is a cramp in the tissue of my firstself.
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