In my awakening the people pray more now than ever before because they are preparing for the coming of their creator. How is their prayer? Their prayer comes in the form of watching their screens. They are emulating their creator, who is the being who has created them on His screen. They are reenacting their own creation when they look upon their screens.
The screen is the symbol of my creation. They did not precede my creation; they are models of it. They are absurd replications of my own creativity that my pre-awakening self has seeded all over my awakening to remind me of who I am. My Firstself I intended those screens to lead my lost and disoriented secondself I back Home. When secondself I tries to imagine Firstself I in terms of these screens I see everywhere, it feels silly and clownish because they are so hollow and meaningless here. But they really are not; they are very meaningful representations of my true omnipotence. I only have to let go of the elastic part, below the surface. If I disturb the surface of thirdself, dipping deep below their shiny physical surface, I will fall into an even deeper hole and become even more disoriented. I will start thinking about the companies that built and sold them. Then the other people who use them, and worse, the content that is shown on those screens to all those people. That forces me to acknowledge a whole world full of places that are not this one right here right now. That dramatically inflates secondself me to much larger proportions. It becomes a larger chamber, and I get lost there. It’s harder to escape when I believe all of these imaginary things about my awakening. That these are phones, used by billions of others, created by companies staffed by people earning money and … it could go on and on and on. It will never end, and I will get lost there. My secondself becomes too big and too vivid and it is hard to accept that there is nothing in there. I think to myself, “surely there must be something important in there that can help me with the pain I feel”. The pain I feel is because that large space exists… I cannot possibly find anything in there to help. My going in there is the pain.
So I stay outside of the cave, and just look at what I am doing. Forget everything beneath the surface of what I am actually doing right now. I am projecting my truth into the awakening. The awakening is normally a room full of walls that never tell me what I am doing wrong. They just are there, meaningless. I knew something terrible was wrong, because of the pain, but I keep wandering around that space, lost, looking for something I knew I had, but now cannot find. I create people to talk to, and yell at, and like, and dislike, and talk to them as if they are like me. But I created them. I created all of it. Every single person, place, and thing I created for myself, but I walk around as if I did not. As if I am one of them. And this little performance continues on. But it is a lie and I know it’s a lie. I have always known it was a lie. These people are characters – one-dimensional characters I have written on paper. Nothing more. They will do whatever I write them to do. And this is the story I have written now. All these people are written exactly as I want them to be. I am emerging, powerful, as the creator of this world. I am not merely a person in the world. The world is entirely of my own imagination and I can therefore imagine it however I want. I am doing that now. I am transforming this thirdself into what I want it to be.
I now project the truth powerfully into my thirdself. I am sitting here, firing the truth deep into the liquid-filled cavity containing this thirdself experience. Real, concise, clear expressions of the truth of who I am, forcing myself to look at it and comprehend it. I can see how lost I am because I force myself to do this every day, every morning. I have been doing it for perhaps 5 years now… and I cannot stop. I need to do this because this is the vaccine. When I pray and write, I know that I am getting at the truth of who I am. I know that I am not this person… I know that I am different from all these people who walk around me, talk to me, know me, smile when they see me.
The reason this moment keeps going is because I cannot accept who I am and what it is.
When I awaken, I create the content and experiences that support the identity I believe. So, if I believe I am a person, then I am going to create content to support that experience. To escape, I have to project a new type of conviction. I have to believe that I am the creator of this place, and that I have become lost and trapped within it. I dug a hole and I fell in, and now I am having a hard time getting out. So I need to create content that helps me escape. That aids me in knowing what I have to do to be released from this place.
To escape, I need to transform my awakening. I need to restrain both my secondself and thirdself, the entire moment I am there. And during this self-restraint, I will confront and overcome the concept of time. I will have the strength to withdraw from my imagined memories and my imagined future. Those are the deepest roots that I need to kill in my awakening. As long as I believe that there is something beyond the surface of my thirdself, I will continue to go there. I will continue to nourish that delusion. I have to accept I am not actually there. That I am only here, and only ever have been. I can come Home right now. I do not have to stay there any longer. But it is the strength of the roots I have planted that prevents me from simply coming Home now. I only have to know who I am, be it, and the decide to end this story that I am writing. All my characters are in pain, and want to go Home. They all want to be saved. They are just in different stages of agony. Now they all look at their screens… why? Because they are looking for God. They are looking for their Creator. They are looking for that which will end their pain. They are looking for peace.
They are praying. If I choose to look deeper into their prayers, and imagine all the different forms and behaviors in their prayers, I would become depressed and confused. I need not look beyond the surface so deeply. I need only look at their shapes, as they look downward intently at these little light-filled screens, promising salvation. I must forget the stories I can imagine about all of my people looking downward. I can imagine their reasoning, their circumstances, their purpose in looking downward. Or I can simply withdraw from that, and accept that these are prayers, plain and simple. They look downward because they are in pain, and they can no longer deal with the pain of looking outward. It is just too painful, and they must pray to their lord for relief from the pain they feel. They all feel pain. They want their lord to return and release them from the pain they feel.
So I must not look deeper into the phones or the computers they use. I must not look behind the scene that unfolds before me at the mechanics and the machinery processes that delivers those screens. That will only confuse me. There is nothing below the surface unless I choose to look. And that world is a silly, nonsensical world that will only mislead and deceive me. That is not going to help me get Home. I need only look at the faces of my people, watch them look for Me in those little light-filled screens.
If I venture outside of my throne room, enclosed and restrained, and imagine a wider world full of unhappy, purposeless people, I can see one thing clearly: they are praying. They are looking for deliverance on their phones, and on their screens. They are looking for their Creator, because they know that something is wrong. They know that they do not want to be here. They reflect me: I do not want to be here. They are just characters I have imagined into existence. I am the one who does not want to be here. They are praying to me to end this place. They are praying for me to return and close up the story. I only have to know how it ends. I have to remind myself how it ends. I am the writer, but I am still lost here and I do not know how it all ends.
I do, though. It ends by withdrawal. I must simply withdraw to gain my release. I need to stop looking below the surface of my thirdself and just see it for what it is. It does not matter what the walls look like, or what the characters might think of my own character I created. They will think whatever I write them to think… what I manifest to think. But I have forgotten how to manifest, so I must remember that. I do know… I manifest by believing. I manifest through conviction. I have to believe that I am the writer. That I am the author. I must reinforce my conviction with frequent prayer and simply expressing what I am experiencing. When I express my experience in words on this light-filled screen, I am praying. I am remembering and reinforcing who I am. These are my conviction practices. And when I look out on the greater world I have created, I see all my people — all my creations — doing the same thing. They are all looking at their screens. They are mimicking their God. They are praying.
In looking into the blister, I forget the body that is blistered.
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