I have to come to terms with the difference between experiencing my awakening as a person among people, and as a creator among his creations.
I first wrote that less than a month ago. In building my Throne, the better statement is:
I will ascend beyond awakening as a person among people, to the Creator among my creations.
How do I ascend to my Throne? This one statement holds the key to it all. I must simply believe who I actually am by rejecting the story of who I am not. I am not a person among people. Everything starts when I awaken. Everything ends when I asleepen. I can demanifest anything and everything in my awakening, yet I am omnipresent. This is my higher self hiding in plain sight.
The person I awaken into, is my character. It is a performance I maintain that is based entirely on self-delusion. I delude myself into believing that I am a person among people. That I was born, and I will die. That there is a past and a future. That there are things I do not know. I willfully ignore the obvious truth that there is only this present moment, and that all else is a shimmering mirage I willfully accept as truth. I disregard the truth that I am clearly different from all other content in my awakening, from the people to the places.
My Secondself is a character I am performing as. While my Secondself character does not create everything around, my Firstself does. Secondself is a character in a story written by Firstself. The writing of Firstself is evident; if I do not awaken, nothing is here. when I asleepen, everything is gone. Everything I experience in Thirdself is dependent on Firstself manifestation.
Everything that I experience in my awakening was generated by my Firstself, and only some of it was created by my Secondself. Secondself is the lesser assistant to Firstself.
Yes that is it. I do not experience true ownership in Secondself when I dwell upon Thirdself. Bit as I withdraw and build my Throne, I will increasingly see my own Firstself handiwork in my creation around me.
…