Searching is finding. Finding is seeing. And seeing is forgetting that I create. I create by searching. The more I look, the more I see, the more I want, the more I forget, and the more lost I will become. There is nothing to see. There is nothing here in my awakening to see or experience that I do not completely and wholly possess prior to and upon my awakening. When I see it, I give it away. When I see it, I project what is within, without. It feels better when it is within me than without.
Manifesting is painful. Whatever I manifest in Secondself and Thirdself peels itself away from Me. Manifesting is negative. Manifesting is deconstructive to me. Manifesting is subtractive. I am all, but when I manifest, I am only part. Manifestation is the shimmering that is so painful. It is the loss of my true being. It is me cutting myself up into many separate pieces.
I must not search. I must not look. I must not question. I must be. I am all there is.
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