I do not engage much with characters anymore. There are a few important “relationships”, but even those are changing as I embrace and extend the reality of my authorship into my awakening experience. I have always disliked chatter about “other people”, especially those who were not present, or with whom I did not have personal and direct relationships. Notably celebrities, historical figures, or worst of all, fictional characters. I could never see the value in discussing other peoples’ accomplishments or ideas, and was always aware of the sensation of feeling depleted and somehow injured when I was exposed to such conversations.
Over the past few years I began to understand why I resented these types of conversations. Though I could not articulate it like I can now, I understood that they were all irrelevant. That these topics did not contribute to some unexpressed goal that was critical to the well-being I sought. Now the reason is clear: the characters are entirely fictional and imaginary unless and until I manifest them in Secondself and Thirdself. And given that Secondself and Thirdself are the source of my pain because together they form my illness, it is clear that all content within them are consequently part of the illness.
The path to healing, to peace, is to control, diminish, and ultimately abolish my awakenings. Chattering on about the imaginary experiences and characteristics of the fixtures of my awakening will only exacerbate my awakening, like scratching a wound. The more I dwell on the content of my experience, rather than its fundamental nature as a bleeding wound, the longer I will remain entangled in it. Now, capable of articulating this, I feel great relief in simply and directly setting the boundaries of discourse I will tolerate in the last few “relationships” that do remain.
More directly, I have made it clear that conversation about characters other than my own, are unwanted and unwelcome. It’s not that I have not stated as much before, but now I can do so with absolute clarity of conviction as to the reasoning and purpose. I know why I want it this way, and this will allow me to continue to make progress toward self-abolition even when engaging with those characters I continue to manifes.
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