Is reality different from my experience? No, reality is my experience. The totality of reality is my experience as I have it. How do I define my reality? How do I define my existence? It is easily divisible into three layers.
- Firstself Presence – My first existential layer, before anything else, is my presence. This is simply the fact of my being. This layer does not require any additional qualifiers.
- Secondself Performance – My second existential layer is the movement that occurs within my secondself layer; the sensitive (sensational) and imaginative. The sensitive is directly tied to my thirdself layer, but the imaginative form is entirely within my secondself layer.
- Thirdself Performance – Builds on secondself awareness and is an additional layer that manifests within my secondself, but seems to “project outward”. My thirdself layer is a “bulge” within my experience.
Why not secondself “awareness”? I do not use this word “awareness” because it combines part of my firstself concept of presence but also my secondself sensations of performance.
I have to remember that everything in my awakening is a potentiality. So Russia does not exist now in the same way me jumping does not exist now. They both only exist when I act to manifest them. They both require a coordinated secondself and thirdself performance. And then these two states exist at the end of that performance.
These layers all form my awakening experience. I call my secondself and thirdself a performance rather than awareness and presence because I do actually perform them. I have to do something.
What is real is what is in my moment. The idea of a brain is just that. An idea I will never see. It is a secondself idea. But what is permanent is my awareness. I am always aware. I am always here. My presence.
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