I am in firstplace. And then suddenly I am not. I am here in secondplace, and I believe I am a person. I pretend I am a person, act, and behave as I imagine a person should. But I am faking it all. I know that I am not really this being, and I know that something is wrong.
Between firstplace and secondplace there is a bridge. I cross this bridge every time I awaken, asleepen, and even close my eyes while awake. This bridge is the midplace; it is the crossing that connects firstplace and secondplace. The bridge — which I have been calling midplace — is actually my secondself. And I can see the bridge whenever I think, feel, desire, or even close my eyes. But if I do not know what I am looking at, then I do not realize it is the bridge, the exit, the way I escape and heal my illness.
The three places directly correspond my three selves:
- Firstplace = Firstself
- Midplace = Secondself
- Secondplace = Thirdself
Nothing is supernatural, euphoric, or extramundane. The truth is all very simple and omnipresent. It is always with me. It is the pain that is exciting, titillating, and exhilarating. The peace I seek is the opposite of all of this. It is what remains when all the excitement, pleasure, and satisfaction are wiped away.
My three selves and the three places are always with me. I only have to recognize and accept what they are: firstself is god, heaven, my true self, and where I seek to be. Secondplace is my awakening, hell, an illness, my banishment from heaven and where I do not want to be. Midplace is my secondself, the bridge I cross between the two places.
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