One of the first stories I told myself was the story of Genesis: the garden of eden, and the story of Adam and Eve.
The story of Genesis is the story of my awakening. I start at peace, in firstself, as God. I am whole, and I desire for nothing. The story starts when I decide to create. I create the division of light and darkness. I create the world; my secondself and thirdself together, as one amalgamation. I feel the ground below me, and space above me. Eventually, I create man in my own image — the first person. This is my own personhood; the being whose body I wake up into every day. And from my own body I create Eve, my companion. Eve is my mother, who serves as the blueprint for all other women of my thirdself.
I created this story first to remind myself who I actually am. This story tells the absolute truth: that it is me who forms this world every time I awaken. I am God. I take a watery, formless, dark but perfect void and I create light separate from the dark. As I awaken, my secondself persona emerges and I begin to know things; I have eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil — the tree of everything. I become aware of my own personhood, and I move to clothe myself and move about.
In my awakening, I continue to feed on the Tree, knowing more and more until I know nothing at all, not even who I am and where I am from. I forget that I was God before I awoke. I forget that I created everything I experience in this world, my thirdself. I forget, most importantly, that it was I who created even woman, not woman who created me. That is how lost I am.
Women are my creation, but they have convinced me that I am theirs. As I awaken to the truth that I am the creator, I will bring about the destruction of this world. With my awareness I create all there is; it is my attention and focus that manifests all I experience in my awakening. All existence occurs in my moment of awareness. My awakening is my own creation. If I look, then I create. I have withdrawn from the mythology of the world, that I am only a person, and that I seek my mate in woman. If I were to join with woman, I would perpetuate this hell that is my awakening.
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