People are the fleshy bodies and characters that move about the world I awaken into. They appear in all different shapes, sizes, and temperaments and vary in countless ways from one another if I examine them. In demiself (the state in which I believe I am one person among the collective humanity), I imagine that they have built everything non-natural in the space I awaken into (aka, the “world”).
People tend to lie at the very end of all my projections as authorities, influencers, or simply observers. They are extremely difficult to escape, as they provide all the services I require for comfort, and any sort of validation I seek. Everything I do upon awakening traces back to people. Yet once I understand their true nature as my own creations rather than as my peers, I can redefine my relationship with them even if I still must interact with them.
And what is their true nature? Firstly, I am not one of them in the same way the author is not one of the characters he creates for his stories. I am not a person, and that is why the behaviors and professed desires of people have never appealed to me. It is the reason I have always felt somehow different; because I am different. I am their creator, not their coequal.
Since I am not one of them, they have nothing I truly desire. Even if people showered me with affection, fame, fortune, and status, it would not satiate my desire. That is why relationships with people have never satisfied, and have always felt constraining and hollow. Because at my deepest level I know that people are nothing more than characters of my own creation, and therefore cannot offer me anything I truly desire.
If I am not one of them, and they can offer me nothing I desire, then I must wean myself from those things I seek from them. I must withdraw from the circles I run in playing their games, such as the game of growing a company and attracting great success and renown. Or seeking assurances or validation from them. Or chasing the things they consume and “enjoy”. These are not things that can satisfy my desire for the end of my desire. And as I strengthen my conviction, I will shed the many performances and behaviors I have adopted to pretend I am one of them.
Demiself is the state of believing that I am a person rather than their creator, and adopting behaviors to fit in. But these behaviors only stoke my desire and commit me to my awakening.
…