I must not endow my creations with creativity.
In How to forget who I believe I am and remember who I truly am, I introduced the concept of “endowment”. This is worth exploring separately. I wrote:
When I think and reflect — the motion of my thirdself — I often assume perspectives that are not my own. For example, if I think of another country, I imagine the people of that country and how they might experience it. I endow those imaginary people with substance they do not have actually have until I project and manifest that substance into existence. Understanding and controlling this function I perform is critical to recognizing my omnipotence, for it is I who endow all secondself or thirdself people. It is I who imagine people, and I who manifests people physically. It is my own action that manifests all. This is the process of endowment. To control this, when I move in secondself (aka, think, imagine, etc), I must not endow the imaginary with the creative powers only I possess. In other words, I must not imagine characters who are themselves imagining or experiencing something, rendering me an indirect or ingnorant party to the experience.
The idea of “endowment” is that it is a creative process by which I extend and secure my own demipotence. Essentially, I “endow” characters which creative powers and higher existential status by imagining their experiences and
Endowment is one of the trickiest and most subtle forms of my demipotence. Keeping in mind that my demipotence is the crippling condition of being unable to achieve my desires. By definition, demipotence is the limited ability to achieve my desires, and derives from a misunderstanding of my desires in the first place. This misunderstanding prompts movement and motion toward transitory relief from my desire, rather than the permanent end of my desire.
Endowment relies on a few mistaken beliefs:
- I believe that I am equivalent to other people. That is, I and we are all part of a category called “people”. Essentially, I reduce myself from the creator of my experience to a participant in an experience created by some other unknown being.
- Once I believe there are other people, I then must believe there are experiences other than my own experience.
Endowment is the process of creating and then believing in secondhand experiences. My own direct experience being firsthand, secondhand experiences are entirely imaginary with me being the imaginer. And given that I believe I am a single person among many others, I also believe then that these other people are experiencing life and therefore the collective totality of experience far exceeds my own.
This is the process of creative endowment. I, as the experiencer, am endowing imaginary people with imaginary lives and experiences. I will never have any way of validating this, and can only imagine it. And despite the truth that these imaginary second-hand experiences are infinitely inferior to my own first-hand experience in every way, I still humble myself by endowing those imaginary characters with equivalent value.
Essentially, I disregard the truth that I am in fact the creator of my entire experience, and instead choose to believe that my creations are my equivalent. This is the process of endowment, and has two parts: firstly I eschew my godhood, then I embrace my personhood. I forget that I am an omnipotent being with unlimited power, and believe I am a demipotent being with limited power to achieve my desires.
This is a vicious cycle. When I move through my secondself — aka, think, imagine, reflect, etc — I must be aware when I am endowing. That is, when I imagine experiences other than my own, and experiencers other than me. When I indulge these secondself illusions, I degrade the truth that I am the only being here. There are no beings in this world I am now creating, that are equivalent to me. The characters are not equivalent to the author. The creations are not equivalent to their creator. The process of endowment is a runaway secondself, and controlling it is essential to regaining control of my conviction, changing my behavior, and restoring my godhood.
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