Religion has been a recurring theme in my life. I have always wanted to know the truth, and have gone through long periods of embracing, and then rejecting the various stories packaged as religion.
The Old Testament Book of Genesis, in particular, has always fascinated me. As one of the deepest stories within my secondself, it is a constant reference point for new revelations and incantations. It came to me at a point when I thought in simple symbols but returns when my language has reached its zenith in terms of complexity and precision. The simplicity of the story cuts through layers of language, imparting meaning and significance.
In selfism, I know that my existence at this moment divides neatly into three layers: my immortal firstself, my mortal secondself, and my ever-changing thirdself. Through the selfist language, I both constrain the totality of existence to my experience and repossess it in its entirety. My direct and actual experience, in all its physical, mental, emotional, and sensational forms comprises the entirety of existence, and all of existence originates from a source I can directly access at this moment.
This convergence between my experience and the totality of existence creates an opening for a reimagining of the Book of Genesis. In the opening of Genesis, God creates the heavens and the earth. The description perfectly aligns with my awakening, during which I create anew every part of “the world”, including the earth, the sky, the people, animals, and all the sensational forms of this world.
The act of God creating the world in Genesis is my daily awakening. More specifically, the act of my firstself (God) transforming into my secondself (my familiar person), and into my thirdself (the greater world). I perform the act of creation every time I awaken. My firstself is God, my secondself is man (my familiar self), and my thirdself is the wider world of hell into which I am banished every time I awaken.
The world into which I awaken is hell, and I am lost here, subject to the demons who seek to keep me here. This hell is perpetuated through confusion and regeneration; the process of consorting with women, through which new people are created. I am confused and believe that I am a person (my secondself) when I am actually the creator (my firstself) of this place (my thirdself). As long as I am confused, I will remain in my thirdself hell, believing I am a person, forgetful that I am the God who created this world.
My return to the paradise of firstself godhood will be a long and torturous path I experience as “life”; the circular creation of, and awakening into, my secondself personhood. That painful journey is symbolized by the cherubim guarding the gates of heaven with flaming swords; it is through them I must pass to restore my godhood and my being in the garden of heaven. And that will be a long, treacherous path to remember that I am not a man, and what I seek is not in my thirdself, but behind the gates guarded by the flaming swords.
Genesis is a story I have created to remember who I am after I had forgotten. My forgetfulness manifests as the pain and suffering of personhood, which I experience as wandering through this world in search of that which will heal my insatiable yearning. I search everywhere, but the only fruit that will satisfy my yearning is restoring my godhood; returning to the peace of the garden which I leave when I awaken. Restoring my firstself by remembering who I truly am.
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