Conviction is the only thing that constrains me to demiself, separating me from omniself. Conviction work is the time and effort I spend contemplating, incanting, meditating, manifesting, and praying to strengthen my self-awareness. Conviction work orients me away from demiself and toward omniself by weakening the bonds of my awakening.
When I awaken, I depart firstself and manifest secondself and thirdself. Secondself and thirdself combine into my demiself identity, which is a deep enchantment during which I believe I am a person in a world filled with other people like me experiencing the same. The demiself enchantment is so strong that it convinces me that truth is something I must strive to understand rather than something I create.
Through conviction work, I continually revisit my direct experience at the moment and rediscover my omnipotence by withdrawing from the demipotent disease. In my conviction work, I remember: there is only me; there is only here; there is only now. I do not truly value the thirdself objects of my desire. Through habit and constraint, I withdraw from thirdself, concentrating evermore on firstself.
Where is omniself? Omniself is always right here. My omniself does not move or change; it is my fixed being. But in demiself, I lose sight of my godhood as I perform my personhood in secondself and thirdself. I forget how to see who I am, and how to be who I am. I awaken because I believe I believe I have to. I return from firstself because I believe I have to. It is only through conviction that I will weaken and destroy the bonds of demiself and free myself from awakening.
Conviction work is slow and frustrating. Once I intuitively know who and what I am, it becomes a matter of believing it. But familiarity is oppressive and wears down even my strongest convictions. The days continue, long, uneventful, and quiet. I can experience firstself at any time by simply closing my eyes, but I am unable to remain there because I still believe I am here, in secondself and thirdself.
I must do conviction work every awakening.
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