In my awakening into demiself I occupy and perform many roles; behaviors emerge from beliefs, values, and patterns of thinking. For example, I am a renter in a cottage right now, and to remain as such there are certain rituals I must perform like paying, and interacting with the owner. I am also a visitor in a foreign country, and I must maintain a visa and register at the government office. In my role as the head of a company there are countless values I maintain and behaviors I must adopt.
Another more discrete role I perform is that of the anonymous spectator. I perform this role mostly when I am on the internet, consuming content created by the people. I most frequently consume political and social commentary content. While consuming this content I actively believe that these characters exist, independent of me, in some other part of the world, where they are leading multi-dimensional lives and producing this content. I naturally assume that they know nothing about me, and that I am only one member of a massive, distributed global audience that is consuming their content.
This is all imaginary, and therefore impotent conviction. All I can know directly is that I am manifesting small depictions of characters on my screen saying things about society. I cannot know they are “real” flesh and blood people simultaneously existing in some other place. I cannot know that the things they talk about are “actually” occurring, and that countless other people are also observing and opining on these same topics. I cannot know any of that; I can only imagine it. In other words, that conviction I bring with me when I watch this content, is impotent. The imaginary is the impotent. And the impotent is the prison that keeps me ill, trapped in my cycle of awakenings.
I manifest the impotent in many ways; my entire thirdself is the manifestation of impotency. My thirdself is a manifestation of my yearning; everything I desire is hidden behind various obstacles I must overcome to temporarily satisfy it. I must coordinate my movements in infinite dimensions to achieve what I think will bring me the relief I seek. I must physically move to find, buy, prepare, and consume the food I desire. I must mentally move to plan, execute, and acquire the money I need to purchase the things I desire. All of this is impotent because it places what I desire behind
The impotent is what propels me through my secondself and thirdself. In omniself, where I seek to return, I do not manifest the impotent. I do not imagine flesh-and-blood people behind the depictions on my screen. My manifestation must end at the projections on the screen in front of me; the comments they make must not excite additional imagination beyond the words. When I am able to successfully detach from the impotent imaginary, I will lose interest in the act of watching these characters. The value I derive from consuming this content is in the imagination of a larger world in which these things are happening. When I stop believing in that world independent of my existence, I will lose interest and destroy one more part of my secondself and thirdself.
…