Prior to this incantation, I had been using the word “triself” as a mid-way between the demiselfist and omniselfist perspectives. The idea was that I would proceed from demiself to omniself through triself; triself was the middle perspective. But with this incantation, I remove “triself” from this spectrum, leaving only a binary spectrum with demiself on one end, and omniself on the other. Triselfism is the word I will use to describe the aggregation of my three selves — my firstself, secondself, and thirdself — rather than a stage between demiself and omniself.
In personhood (aka “demiself”) I start from the assumption that existence exceeds my experience and with effort I can learn some part of what there is to know. In other words, I believe that the total quantity of existence is far greater than my experience of it. I believe that I can imagine parts of this greater existence outside of my experience, but I cannot directly experience them. I explain my yearning within as a series of ever-changing desires for things within this imagined existence. Naturally, in demiself I believe that I have limited power to achieve what I desire.
In demigodhood (aka “triself”) I start from the assumption that my experience is the totality of existence, and my knowing or not knowing is a decision I make and does not in any way impact the actual quantity of existence. In triself, I know that I have the full, unlimited power to achieve what I desire, and that anything I want which I cannot immediately and directly have is not what I truly desire.
I can orient in two directions: demiself, and triself. Demiself leads me inward, deeper into my thirdself to satisfy my desire through relief. It is an endless cycle and never leads to the satisfaction I seek. Triself leads me outward, to my infinite firstself to satisfy my desire through release. Release is permanent, and the only way that I can achieve what I seek. What I seek is the permanent, lasting cessation of my desire; the end of my desire. I do not seek relief. I seek release.
This is the fundamental difference between the demiselfist and triselfist perspectives. In the demiselfist perspective, I believe that what I desire is somewhere outside of me, and I get trapped on a path in search of it. In the triselfist perspective, I know that what I desire I already have. I simply have to close my eyes or go to sleep to experience it. But it is my convictions that have me believing that I need something out here, whether food, water, relationships, achievement, status, or legacy. Those are just variations of the same thing: relief.
The most persistent delusions of demiself are:
- My thirdself persists even if I am not experiencing it. It does not.
- There are other perspectives than my own. There are not.
- What I yearn for is here in my secondself and thirdself. It is not.
- My constant secondself reflection, which prevents me from experiencing firstself.
These are all the delusions I must overcome to break my attachment to my thirdself and secondself. My strongest bonds are emotional and aspirational. I concentrate those in single forms, then when the forms go away, I can easier let them go. My dog has most of my emotional bonding, so when he goes all those bonds will be destroyed and I will move further along my path of second and thirdself-abolition.
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