My firstself is space, the most persistent of all sensations. No matter where I am, I experience space; the sense that I am “within” something. The sense that there is something “around me”. That sensation is my firstself.
In demiself, I have misled myself about the nature of space. I have convinced myself that I am a small part of a much larger space. That I am only experiencing and observing a very tiny corner of a massive, endless space. I imagine that the space I inhabit extends far beyond my perceptual horizons, and has all manner of constituent objects and phenomena within it, as well as other beings like me experiencing different parts of it.
Time is an artifact of that demiselfist conceptualization of space. If I believe that I am only experiencing a small part of space, then that means there are other spaces I am and have not experienced. And to experience those spaces I must move, which I experience as time passing. Add in value and desire, and I have the ingredients for the sense of ever-striving for the thing that will satisfy me, but never does.
In triself, I know there is no space other than the space I experience now, in my ever-present moment. Imaginary space is only that; imaginary. Experiential space is that which I directly perceive, and experience. And therefore, there is no time, either, for there is no movement. The constant is that I am always right here; it is only my perceptual and conceptual (thirdself and secondself, respectively) experiences that appear to change. Additionally, if everything is right here right now, then I desire nothing for I have and am everything.
Eyes-open, I sense space all around me but perceive and conceive it as varied and differentiated. I imagine I am here, but I want to be there. Eyes-closed, I sense the same space around me but without variation or differentiation. The constant between the two is the sense of space; it never goes away. the difference is the set of extraexperiential convictions that accompany my eyes-open experience.
Demiself is the persistent illusion that there are people, places, things, and knowledge beyond my direct experience. The shape of this delusion is the difference between the space I experience when my eyes are closed and when my eyes are open. The space remains, but its shape and character change. The space is my firstself, but my understanding of it changes.
My firstself is space, and my secondself and thirdself are the persistent illusions of that space as something other than what it is. I am the space, the only being there is.
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