The Selfist Story is the most basic and fundamental account of my existence. It always starts at the very beginning with a description. I do not search for how, why, or any sort of reasoning or explanation. I just describe what I see and experience in the simplest terms.
My story must begin and end with what I know. Why? Because the more I search out reason, the more likely I will self-deceive. I find the greatest power in describing my experience concisely as it is, absent of imagination. If my story is accurate, then I do not need anything else. If I include anything I do not know or I can only imagine, then I will be trapped in demiscience (i.e., partial, limited knowledge).
Imagine I am standing waist-deep in a pool of water. I splash the water, create waves, and watch them crash and ripple outward. I did that. My movement created that disturbance. My instantaneous decision in my moment was the origin of those waves. My authorship is not in dispute. However, I am discontent with being the creator of those waves, and I seek to know why I made that decision, and how I coordinated the movements. I imagine other people who did the same thing and why and how they did it — none of which I directly experience.
This is how the story of my omnificence (i.e., unlimited creative power) slips away from me. This is how I create time. I look past my moment of creation outward to non-present moments. To the imaginary. I give away my most potent power to the non-now. Once I look outward, beyond my omnipotence, it fades away. I become less powerful. I become demiself. I become limited, entrapped in a non-present moment extending outward in every conceivable and perceivable direction. Directions that are false. I become trapped in explaining how I created the disturbance in the water. Why I splashed and created the waves; why others splash and create waves. In demiself, I am confused for there are no other people. There are no other waves. There is no reason or mechanics. There is only my creativity. My complete and total power to manifest everything in this world that I awaken into.
The selfist story has three parts:
- Start at the very beginning.
- Eliminate everything I do not directly know or experience.
- Identify the constants.
My story begins before I awaken when I am in a peaceful place without desire. And because there is no desire, there is no pain. There I am the creator, and I know it. I do not look beyond my omnipotence because there is no desire to. But then desire emerges like a fever, and I leave that place and awaken into a place where I am consumed with burning desire. In this place, I experience a smoldering, unending now, where I am constantly searching for the thing that will satisfy the desire I have at my core. Now and desire are the constants, and I focus on those.
The selfist story is a method to understand. A method to remind myself what this is that I awaken into. Once I leave the moment of creation, I get swept out into the currents of deception and confusion. I become list. The selfist story is my way back.
…