One of the more challenging aspects of triself is making sense of the explosion of words and concepts. On their surface, they all appear to describe different things. But after dedicated observation and contemplation, I can uncover their essential similarities and break down and combine complicated conceptual structures.
My memory and beliefs are the same concepts. I have struggled to explain my memories, and the past they supposedly represent. I imagined that my beliefs evolved and persisted through time with me, while my memories were screenshots of my experiences. In short, I kept my memories separate from my beliefs. And despite never seeing it, I created time to explain movement and change. That is the linear timeline construct.
Looking back through my contemplations I can find countless explanations for memory, all of which kept it very separate from belief. But I found the way around the linear timeline with the emanation construct: a device that more accurately describes my actual experience in this moment by combining memory and belief into a single construct.
My memories are not impressions of past experiences within the world. Instead, my memories are beliefs I maintain in my present, no different from my belief that I live in a cottage in the Himalayas. I do not have two brothers because I remember growing up with them. I have two brothers because I believe I have two brothers. I maintain all these beliefs in my present moment and can call them to the surface between my second and thirdself as utterances and actions. I can say, “I have two brothers and I own a business”, giving thirdself form to my secondself belief. Or I can decide to go visit my brothers and then scroll through my thirdself to manifest them physically.
The full stack of beliefs I maintain in my secondself is constantly percolating to the surface as my thirdself. My internal secondself conceptions emanate into my thirdself perceptions. My secondself is continuously manifesting my thirdself, and vice-versa. The shapes of my convictions give rise to the shapes of the people, places, and things I manifest around me, in my physical environment. My firstself is all around me and shines through my secondself, terminating in my thirdself as projections onto the interior walls of my firstself.
My experience of movement and change does not reveal the invisible hand of time. They are my undulating self-awareness in my single, unending moment of being. If I choose to memorialize an experience, it hardens into a shape in my secondself, which then interacts with and influences my thirdself projection. In interacting with my thirdself, a bond forms between the two: between the “memory” in my secondself and the forms in my thirdself. That is why I can remember I have a brother who will then confirm our relationship when I physically manifest him. My memories are secondself beliefs which form bonds with thirdself forms.
…