The fuel that moves me between omniself and demiself is desire. My desire exists in tandem with demiself, which arises as I awaken.
Imagine I am wide awake, and it is the middle of the day. I close my eyes, and come to my most peaceful center where all the troubles and conflict of the outside world are gone. That peaceful place is my firstself or the state of omniself, and it is always here in my moment at the very center of my existence. I can validate that it is always here at anytime by closing my eyes, relaxing, and shutting out the world of pain outside me. That chaotic place where I live is my second and thirdself, and the state of being there is demiself.
Where I focus my desire is where I go. If I truly and fully desired the peace of omniself, then I would be able to close my eyes and never return back to my demiself of suffering. That is omnipotence: that is the absolute extent of unlimited power. The ability to simply end this world of my second and thirdselves. That is what I seek.
But notice how I always eventually open my eyes again and return to demiself and the world. That is because I have given my desire to this world of my secondself and thirdself, and I do not believe I have unlimited power. I believe my power is limited. I am demipotent.
My recovery from demiself to omniself is a matter of finding and removing all the desire I have given to my second and thirdselves, and redirecting it back to my firstself. So instead of desiring the people, places, things, and experiences of my second and thirdself, I want the eternal, lasting, and permanent peace of my firstself. Instead of desiring and pursuing the insatiety of worldly relief, I desire and pursue the satiety of release.
When I make that decision to re-concentrate and redirect my desire toward release and away from relief, I will begin the contracting process of triself. Triself is the desire for omnipotence: for the unlimited power to not return to demiself. What does omnipotence look like? Omnipotence is when going to that same peaceful place with my eyes closed and deciding simply never to return to this world of pain and suffering. If I could decide to never return, that is unlmited power.
If that idea seems absurd and unrealistic, that is my demipotence on display; my demiself belief that I do not have unlimited power. I do not believe I could ever do that, which reinforces by conviction.
Triself is a matter of redirecting my fuel source away from the relief of demiself and toward the release of omniself.
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