My existence is an illness built upon the delusion that I am this person who wakes up every day into this world.
But this is not true, and the truth of my identity hides in plain site. I can begin to see and overcome this delusion by examining the difference between the permanent and transitory elements of my existence.
On one end of this dichotomy is everything I can experience right now in this very single moment: the essential.
On the other end of this dichotomy is everything else I can only imagine: the inessential.
When I sleep, I fully assume my essential identity; a peaceful, unified experience free from pain or desire. But when I awaken, my singular peace explodes into the the illness of my inessential identity.
My inessential identity crystallizes around me as a constellation of ideas, feelings, and desires from within, and objects, possessions, and places from without. I forget my essential identity, and wander my inner and outer constellation, looking for the peace I lost when I woke.
This constellation is the distortion and cause of all of my pain, and I must deconstruct it to find and return to the peace I seek; back to my essential identity.
Pain and desire are the core experience of my inessential identity in the second place. My natural goal is to treat and heal my pain. But the pursuit of inner and outer relief through distraction, comfort, pleasure, acquisition, aspiration, and status is a drug that only exacerbates my pain.
The only way to heal my pain is to remember who I actually am, my essential identity. Therein is the solution to all of my pain, and it starts by understanding my existential dichotomy.
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