I experience the second place as two environments: an inner environment of ideas, thoughts, and feelings, and an outer environment of people, places, and objects. These two environments intersect in and project from the middle region I call my essential.
I manifest my second place environments as I awaken. The forms and performances of both environments exist as a constellation of desire I project outward from my essential core. At any given moment, I have only a fixed amount of manifestational power; my capacity to manifest my conceptual and perceptual environments.
The energy I spend manifesting the elements of my inessential environments is energy I cannot concentrate on my essential. When I concentrate all of my focus on my essential, I feel the peace that I seek, and I know what I truly desire. I know what will end the pain of this illness I awaken into every day. When I concentrate on the inessential, I lose that peace and begin seeking relief. There is a fine line where this transition occurs.
One effective mechanism for forcefully suppressing my conceptual and perceptual environments is inessential, or manifestational constraint. This is the suppression of my senses with the aim of constructing both my conceptual and perceptual fields. Closing my eyes in meditation is one such method, but will often lead to a racing imagination that is difficult to quiet.
Upon awakening, I move into an enclosed space I call my sanctuary. I take steps to ensure there are minimal visible objects within this space. I also dawn a tight cap that applies gentle pressure to the crown of my head, which gives the sensation of “reigning in” my conceptual environment. When I must exit and project the wider world, I pull my cap down around the top and sides of wraparound sunglasses, restricting my field of vision as much as possible.
The objective is to suppress my conceptual and perceptual fields, thus choking off the intrusive movement that prevents me from concentrating my focus on and around the essential.
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