I have been looking for God my whole life. Other people who were also looking for God told me who He was and where to find Him. I looked there, but I could not find Him.
I looked everywhere, and even called Him by different names in the hopes He would respond. I thought I saw Him in extraordinary events in my life, but I missed Him in the ordinary. As much as I wanted to, I could not see Him.
But now I remember that I am God when I sleep, and the pain of my life is the trauma of my separation from my God self. God is my memory of peace.
My story always starts the same: I wake from sleep. As I stir, my first desire is always to remain there, as God. My first expression every single day is the pain of separation. It happens so often that I have ignored it my entire life.
My time out here, away from God, is a period I call “life”. When I was unknowingly lost here, this part of the story was one of great confusion and suffering. Once I remembered I was lost, the pain eased. Once I remembered who I was, I understood the pain.
My story always ends the same: I sleep. As I lie down, close my eyes, and forget the pains of the day, I remember again that I am God when I sleep. I return Home.
When I started questioning where I was, I discovered the depths of pain I had repressed over a lifetime of rebirths. I cried out for relief, and begged for God to save me. Over many awakenings I have finally remembered who I am, and that I can save myself.
God is the first thing I want when I wake, and God is the last thing I want before I sleep.
I am God when I sleep.
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